Being alone

Hey! I am posting this first because I didn't had enough time to finish up my travel post (not even sure will I finish it up anytime soon). Anyways, in this post, I want to talk about myself, about being alone. Being alone seems like a scary thing to do. We, humans, are actually born to be live in groups? But despite that, if you live by yourself, you won't die. It's just the thought of being alone scares us. 

I wonder why? Nothing is wrong with being alone but why when we have the chance to be alone, we refuse to be alone? Is it because of the way we think people will look at us? Is it because we care about what others think of us more than what we think about ourselves? I believe many people don't mind to be alone at times. Some, may feel that they have to be alone at a certain time, some may feel that they actually like being alone. 

Well, for me, I guess I'm okay with being alone. By that, I mean actually being alone in a room with no one else. I hate being alone in crowded places, especially when there are lots of other people being together in groups. I will feel a bit left out maybe? I guess I kind of know the reason why I'm okay with being alone all by myself in a room. It's because of the fact that no one's there to watch me. I feel more secure and more confident in myself when I'm doing something. When we are alone in a crowded area, our minds often tells us that how much we hated being alone because we think that other people are starring at us and judging us by our appearance or think that we're a weirdo just because we are alone. I mean come on, do people really judge on you or you just think that they are, because you felt insecure? Let me tell you one thing, even if they really are looking at you, starring at you, making judgements behind your back. So what? Does it really matter to you? Does it affect you or your life in some sort of a way? 

I don't think so. Therefore, when I'm alone, I always try to tell myself: "It's fine". Something like 'tricking' my mind in believing that it really is fine. I'm trying so hard to cover up the insecurities I felt inside. The insecurities that made me feel ashamed of myself. Then again, I question myself, why feel ashamed? What is there to be shame about? There's nothing wrong with it, I didn't do anything that deserves to feel ashamed of.

That's when it all hit me. While we were all so busy thinking about how others would think of us doing this or doing that, we are actually neglecting ourselves. Our brains did not focus on ourselves, our brain did not focus on how we actually feel about what we're doing. We got so distracted by other people, we did not attend to ourselves. We are suppose to love ourselves. Everything we do is suppose to have something to do with loving ourself. Did we love ourself enough? 

Imagine if you love drinking coffee and reading a book in a cafe, enjoying some relaxing and quiet "me" time. Would you still do that if your mind keeps telling you that the guy at the opposite corner is judging how nerdy/ lonely you are because you are? When in reality, that guy was only focused on doing his work that he didn't even notice you at all. Think of all the things you would have done if you did not think about how others think of you. List them out and you will find out how much fun you have missed just by being yourself. 

I'm not telling you to completely ignore about what others think. I'm telling you that you need to learn when is it necessary to care about what others think instead of what you think about yourself. Of course, the first and foremost condition would be that whatever you want to do is the right thing to do. Opinion from others does matter in a way, since we live in a society where there are rules to follow and peace to keep. But when society judges people too much, it's time to stop and think about how you think about it yourself, and not just blindly following the trend that society sets. We are a unique individuals where nobody can define what makes us perfect or what's better for us. We deserve the right to decide that for ourselves. Just make sure that there are no regrets once the decisions were made. 

Thank you for reading till the end. 

Love, 

Giselle