I realised.

*Been wanting to post this for quite some time but I got caught up in something and decided to save it as draft at first but then now, here it goes*

There's been this period of time that I just feel like I'm annoying. I don't know if I really am or is it that people around me are just busy. If you really care about me, even though you're busy, you'll still find time to talk to me right? 

I have trust issues on people. I talk to them because I feel like it. Then they're so busy that it make me feel like "oh, go on, continue talking, I'll reply you when I'm free." Point is, they'll never have the free time to. It's like I'm talking to a wall, but it hurts more. Because walls can't talk, people talk but they don't reply you. That's how I feel. I need to talk to someone but then I figure out oh, all of them are just too busy for me. I know, I understand that you got like tons of work to do, lots of meeting to attend, club activities are too much that you can't do it all, exams are coming, tuition classes, projects and assignments. But hey, if I'm important in your life or at least mean anything, you would at least reply or say sorry I got things to do, really can't make time for you right now. And then find me when you're not busy. But you're just non-stop busy.

 Is it my problem that I'm annoying to you? Because you make me feel like an idiot keep telling you everything that you don't even want to know. That's when I remembered, I used to be that "busy person" too. I didn't make time for him. I was too busy eating, watching tv, doing homework, chatting with friends instead of you. I felt so bad I guess I got what I deserved. I ignore people, then it's time now that people ignore me. It's my turn to feel like a fool telling people things that they don't even give a damn on. I feel like stabbing myself this instant. Knowing how bad it feels when you talk to someone you cared most and they just didn't show love on you. I know now. I wish I had the chance to tell myself what I know now. But it's all gone and passed and things are never gonna go back to how the way it was before.